The Fifth Son

A Passover Seder in the Warsaw Ghetto during the Holocaust

The Fifth Son

In the early seventies, the Jewish Federation of North America decided to launch a campaign. They sought to institute that at every Seder table there should be an empty chair to bring into the Jewish consciousness the awareness that - if not for the holocaust and the loss of our 6 million - there would have been another Jew sitting in that seat.

Recognizing the influence that the Rebbe, Rabbi M.M. Schneerson, had on Jewish communities around the globe, a representation of communal leaders came to see the Rebbe with a request. They asked him to encourage his emissaries around the world to spread the idea of the empty chair, so that this custom will become established the world over. 

The Rebbe replied, "Your idea of adding a chair is very important, and I’m ready to join the call. But, there is one condition…the extra chair should not be empty, but filled."

The Nazis endeavored to have fewer Jews at the Seder table. The antidote to the Nazis will be to launch a call to the Jewish people today to add a chair to their table and to fill it with a Jew, who - if not for this invitation - would not have celebrated the Seder night.

While it is important to learn from our past experiences and challenges, we must not let it hold us back from living in the present and forging ahead. The first step to growth is discovering and understanding our heritage and where we have come from. However, more importantly, we must use that inspiration and education to propel us to bring meaning and purpose into the present and look towards building the future.

On the night of the Seder there is a Mitzvah of telling the story, especially to the next generation. As the Torah states, “And you shall tell your son on that day, saying, "Because of this, the Lord did [this] for me when I went out of Egypt."- Exodus 13:8

In the Haggadah we learn about four sons at the Seder table: the wise, the wicked, the simple one, and the one who does not know how to ask.

The four sons not only represent four types of people,  they also express four different parts of our personality and character.

The four sons may be understood and analyzed from various angles and perspectives.

Chacham (Wise):  The wise son represents the intellect within us that relates to the rational and universalistic aspects of Judaism but has a difficult time accepting the suprarational Mitzvot and traditions.

Rasha (Wicked): This refers to the rebellious son and the cynic within us. While the term Rasha is usually translated as wicked, often, a rebellious or challenging child is only responding to a negative experience or upbringing and is internally really yearning for love, clarity and direction.

Tam (Simple): The word Tam in Hebrew can also mean “complete” and self-sustaining. This refers to the selfish part of our personality which feels entitled and deserving of our gifts and success and challenges the need for spirituality, faith and community. 

She'ei'no Yodea Lishol (One which doesn't know how to ask): While the first three sons are actively engaged in the Passover seder, the fourth son is totally disinterested and feels detached from the whole experience.

Instead of dismissing and becoming disheartened from their questions or seeming lack of enthusiasm, the Torah gives us the lesson and guidance on how to respond to each individual child and characteristic. 

There is an expression, “Answer the person, not the question”. We learn to empathize with the child and see where they are coming from so that we can help them overcome their challenges and reconnect with their souls.

We share with them the beauty of our Jewish heritage and what the relevance of the Passover holiday of freedom means for our modern lives.

On Passover we not only reminisce about the story that occurred to our ancestors thousands of years ago, but, more importantly, we relive the exodus and learn how to express our freedom each day. As we recite in the Haggadah, “Not only our ancestors did the Holy One, blessed be He, redeem, but rather also us [together] with them did he redeem, as it is stated (Deuteronomy 6:23), "And He took us out from there, in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He swore unto our fathers."

True freedom is the ability to express our very essence. If there are levels to our personality that have not been explored, if our soul has not had the opportunity to be expressed, then we are not yet truly free.

Imagine living in a society without rules and regulations. Understandably, it wouldn't be a very safe place to reside. The governing laws of a civilized country allow us to prosper and live in harmony with one another.

Liberty and freedom does not necessarily mean unlimited choices and opportunities. Rather, true freedom enables us to express our core identity, beliefs and values.

Take music for example. Even an amateur violinist understands that in order to play chords on the violin the strings must be tied down properly. Otherwise the strings would not play the correct musical notes. The very limitations that confine the strings enable us to enjoy its music. The same is true with regards to any other profession, skill, or relationship. The self-control and discipline we exhibit enables our own inner “music” to be heard.

Similarly, the underlying purpose of Jewish traditions and Mitzvot are not to restrict and limit us. On the contrary, they serve to quieten the noise of our mundane, everyday existence and help us tune in to the deeper messages of life.

The Torah is the instruction manual on how to live a meaningful life, connect with our identity and Divine mission, assist others in need, and positively transform this world thereby creating a home for G-d on earth. Without the rules and regulations, we would be trapped by the animalistic drives and temptations which exist both within and outside of us.

While the “Four Sons” differ from one another in their reaction to the Seder service, they have one thing in common: they are all present at the Seder service. Even the so-called “rebellious” son is there, taking an active, though challenging, interest in what is going on in Jewish life around him. This, at least, justifies the hope that someday also the “rebellious” one will become wise, and all Jewish children attending the Seder will become conscientious, and connect with their Judaism.

Unfortunately, there is presently another kind of a Jewish child: the child who is conspicuous by his or her absence from the Seder service; the one who has no interest whatsoever in Torah and Mitzvot, laws and customs; who is not even aware of the Seder, of the Exodus from Egypt and the subsequent Revelation at Sinai.

This presents a challenge and responsibility for each of us. For no Jewish child should be forgotten and given up. We must make every effort to save that “lost” child, and bring the absentee to the Seder table. 

The ultimate freedom will be experienced with the future redemption as we declare at the end of the Hagaddah, “Leshana Haba B’yerushalyim (next year in Jerusalem)”. Each year we pray that by next year we will celebrate together in Jerusalem with the coming of Moshiach who will usher in a peaceful and prosperous time for all nations on earth.