Three Types of Relationships
Men usually don't sit over coffee talking about their marriages. That's why a particular conversation between three males stuck in my mind — they were discussing the joys of wedded life.
"I love my wife," said David. "That's why I do everything she asks me to do. A few months ago she exclaimed, ‘David, I would really appreciate a new diamond necklace for my birthday’, and I make sure to purchase one for her next birthday.”
Not to be outdone, Daniel said: "I also do everything my wife asks me to do. In fact, she doesn't even have to spell out what she wants. She recently was admiring a diamond necklace on display in a store front’s window and I made sure to purchase it for her birthday.
But in the end it turned out that Michael’s marriage was the most loving of all. Michael’s wife doesn't have to ask her husband to do things for her. She doesn't even have to drop hints. "When her birthday approaches", Michael explained, "I just know what she would appreciate without her having to mention anything."
The Hebrew month of Tishrei is replete with Mitzvot—full of opportunities for carrying out G‑d's will. For more than three weeks, our days are filled with praying, repenting, fasting, feasting, dancing, building a sukkah, and observing the Mitzvah of Lulav and Etrog etc...
The observances of Tishrei fall under three general categories. There are biblical precepts that are explicitly commanded in the Torah, such as sounding the shofar on Rosh HaShanah, fasting on Yom Kippur or eating in the sukkah on Sukkot.
There are also a number of rabbinical Mitzvot—observances instituted by the prophets and the sages by the authority vested in them by the Torah. For example, the five prayer services held on Yom Kippur and the taking of the Four Kinds on all but the first day of Sukkot are rabbinical institutions.
Finally, the month of Tishrei has many customs—such as eating an apple dipped in honey on the first night of Rosh HaShanah or conducting Tashlich by a body of water. The customs are not mandated by biblical or rabbinical law, but by force of custom: these are things that we Jews have initiated ourselves as ways to enhance our service of our Creator.
Most amazingly, the climax of the month of Tishrei—the point at which our celebration of our bond with G‑d attains the very pinnacle of joy—is during the Hakafot of Simchat Torah, when we take the Torah scrolls in our arms and dance with them around the reading table in the synagogue—a practice that is neither a biblical nor a rabbinical precept, but merely a custom.
For it is with our observance of the customs that we express the depth of our love for G‑d. The biblical commandments might be compared to the explicitly expressed desires between two people bound in marriage. The rabbinical Mitzvot, on which G‑d did not directly instruct us but which nevertheless constitute expressions of the divine will, resemble the implied requests between spouses. But the customs represent those areas in which we intuitively sense how we might cause G‑d pleasure. And in these lie our greatest joy.’
The Rebbe Rashab, Rabbi Sholom Dov Ber (1860-1920), once related, “The 48 hours of Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah should be highly treasured. Every moment is an opportunity to draw a bucket- and barrel full of material and spiritual treasures. And this is accomplished through dancing...”
All Jews, learned and unsophisticated alike, share equally in the Simchat Torah celebrations, because these celebrations tap a point in the soul which, by nature of its infinity, defies the entire concept of rank and gradation. At this level of soul, no difference exists between one Jew and another. The basic commonalty that links us all makes us join hands and dance together, oblivious to the personal differences that might otherwise create barriers between individuals.
This essential connection that each Jew shares with the Torah will be fully expressed in the time of the redemption as Maimonides states, "In that era, there will be neither famine or war, envy or competition for good will flow in abundance and all the delights will be freely available as dust. The occupation of the entire world will be solely to know God. Therefore, the Jews will be great sages and know the hidden matters, grasping the knowledge of their Creator according to the full extent of human potential, as Isaiah 11:9 states: 'The world will be filled with the knowledge of God as the waters cover the ocean bed."
