Self-Respect
US president Joe Biden and Israeli president Isaac Herzog speak with Israeli singers Yuval Dayan and Ran Dankner during the ceremony
In July of 2022, Israeli pop star Yuval Dayan stirred an outcry and a heated public debate in Israel when she refused to shake hands with visiting US President Joe Biden due to her religious beliefs.
Dayan, along with another singer, Ran Danker, performed at a ceremony marking Biden's receipt of Israel's highest civilian honor. Afterward, Biden and Israeli President Isaac Herzog approached the artists to thank them. While Danker shook Biden's outstretched hand, Dayan bowed instead, clasping her hands together and smiling. Numerous publicists in Israel debated her behavior, either legitimizing it or deeming it a lack of etiquette.
Dayan explained that she abstained from shaking hands with the president due to her commitment to refrain from physical contact with members of the opposite gender for reasons of modesty. This commitment stems from a Jewish law called shomer negiah, which prohibits physical contact between members of the opposite gender, except for one's spouse or immediate family, in order to safeguard the dignity and integrity of marital relationships. While she did not regard herself as fully religiously observant, Dayan had chosen to honor this tradition along with abstaining from performing on Shabbat or Jewish holidays.
“Respect and human dignity are values that I was raised on and which I will raise my children on in the future,” Yuval Dayan wrote in a Facebook post after her actions drew widespread criticism. “I made sure to notify everyone in the president's office that I am shomeret negiah,” she said, “G-d forbid, I did not mean to offend.”
In response to the uproar, former US Ambassador to Israel Thomas Nides shared a video message expressing that Biden was very impressed with Dayan's performance and with her loyalty to her faith and personal beliefs. Nides conveyed, “I want to send a message to you Yuval... The president was so appreciative of what you did on behalf of the Israeli people and the American president as well as your being true to your religious values…”
Especially during these challenging times for Israel and the Jewish people, each of us finds ourselves thrust into the limelight on the world stage. Regardless of one's level of observance or familiarity with one's Jewish identity, we are each expected to represent the Jewish people and serve as ambassadors of light on behalf of Israel, whether we choose to embrace this role or not.
These moments may arise in various settings such as the workplace, on college campuses, or while traveling, where our Jewish identity or connection to Israel may be challenged. In such moments, there may be a temptation to compromise on our beliefs in order to preserve relationships or avoid causing offense.
However, true peace and mutual respect are attained by maintaining confidence and pride in our identity and beliefs.
As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks famously shared based on his vast experiences in the public eye and the inspiration he received from the Rebbe, “Non-Jews respect Jews who respect Judaism. And non-Jews are embarrassed by Jews who are embarrassed by Judaism.
The Rebbe taught us how to fulfill the verse: 'And all the nations of the world shall see G-d's name upon you and be in awe of you'. Let all the world see we are never ashamed to stand tall as Jews."
In Hebrew, the word for peace is "Shalom," derived from the root "Shalem," meaning "wholeness." Peace is not achieved through division and fragmentation, but rather through a sense of completeness. Contrary to the misconception that peace can only be attained by compromising our values, genuine peace can only be realized when it is founded on truth and emanates from a position of strength. When we take pride in our identity and possess confidence in our convictions, we can then respect differing opinions and coexist harmoniously, even in moments of disagreement.
To ensure we are equipped to face these challenges head-on, it is vital that we explore the true cause of hostility in order to properly protect ourselves and our families both physically and spiritually.
While overt anti-Semitism may fluctuate over time, it is important to clarify that it has nothing to do with geopolitics, the land of Israel, or Israel's domestic policies. Early Jewish settlers in Israel were subjected to violence in the early 1900s, long before the War of Independence. Over the years, Israel has made many painful concessions in the hope of achieving genuine peace, but sadly, it has not yet materialized.
Unfortunately, anti-Semitism has existed since the founding of the Jewish people thousands of years ago.
What is the source of anti-Semitism, and how do we establish lasting peace with the nations of the world? Furthermore, on a personal level, how do we foster peaceful relationships and mutual respect among our friends and acquaintances in our own community and workplace?
During the past week, we celebrated the Holiday of Shavuot, the day we received the Torah on Mount Sinai over three thousand years ago. The Talmud explains that ever since an objective Divine definition of morality was introduced to the world through the teachings of the Torah, anti-Semitism was introduced as well. Those who oppose morality and goodness see the Jewish people and the Torah as the greatest threat to their ideology. For that reason, anti-Semitism may begin with the Jewish people, but it never ends with the Jews. Essentially, a threat against a Jew, God forbid, is an attack on all good people.
Our response to anti-Semitism should never be to hide or become apologetic and defensive. Rather, we need to express our Judaism proudly and serve as positive examples of how Jews should act by learning and sharing the teachings of the Torah, performing Mitzvot, and engaging in acts of goodness and kindness.
In this week's Torah portion, Naso, we read about the famous priestly blessing given to the Jewish people which concludes with the fervent wish for peace. Many parents have the custom to recite this blessing to their children prior to Yom Kippur or Shabbat: "May the Lord bless you and watch over you. May the Lord cause His countenance to shine to you and favor you. May the Lord raise His countenance toward you and grant you peace (Numbers 6: 24-26)."
Furthermore, in Ethics of our Fathers, Hillel instructs: "Be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving the creatures and bringing them closer to Torah."
The Torah emphasizes the importance of maintaining peace both on a personal level and on a global scale. At the same time, Judaism places the greatest value on the sanctity of human life and the need to protect it in case of danger. A nation must do all in its power to protect its people. We must not wait until our life is already in danger before defending ourselves, but rather, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 72a:) states a principle: “If someone comes to kill you, rise and kill him first.” By taking the offensive and neutralizing the enemy before they carry out their evil intentions, the loss of innocent lives is greatly minimized on both sides of the conflict, thereby establishing lasting peace.
The Torah teaches us that each and every Jew possesses a portion of the Land of Israel and is forever connected to the land, regardless of where he or she resides. For the Land of Israel is G-d's eternal gift to the Jewish people. It is integral to our divine mission as the place imbued with the holiness and special spiritual qualities that empower us to flourish as a people and serve as G-d's light unto the nations.
When we are aware of this “wholeness” and express our Judaism and connection to Israel openly and proudly, we can maintain peace and tranquility both on a global level and in our own communities and workplace.
May we soon merit to experience the fulfillment of the prophecy regarding the time of redemption when peace will prevail among all nations on earth and all forms of anti-Semitism and bigotry will be eradicated from the world as it is stated: “And they shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks: Nation shall not take up Sword against nation; They shall never again know war - Isaiah 2:4”.
