Words Matter

Students participating in the IKEA experiment

In 2018, furniture company IKEA performed a social experiment called “Bully A Plant- Say No to Bullying”. The experiment, conducted at a school in the United Arab Emirates, showed students how destructive negative comments can be. IKEA set up two identical plants in the school and kept them under identical controlled environments. They each received the same amount of light, nutrition and water. All except for one thing, that is. For 30 days, they invited students to compliment one plant and bully the other.

The students' comments were fed through speakers rigged into each enclosure. A recording device then transmitted the messages to each plant. Amazingly, After 30 days, the plant that received compliments was healthy and thriving, while its insult-riddled counterpart was wilted and noticeably droopy (see here).

Judaism teaches us to use our words carefully. Words can both build and destroy. In Pirkei Avot, Ethics of our Fathers, our Sages taught that G-d created the world through ten utterances. Kabbalah explains further that the world and all its inhabitants receives its energy at every moment through the letters of G-d's “speech”. While words don't have a physical form, the energy of our speech has a great impact on our surroundings. 

In this week's Torah portion, Tazria, we learn about the laws of Tzara'at. While the term Tzara'at is usually translated as leprosy, it actually refers to a supranatural affliction of the skin, which occured during the Temple times, that would cause the sufferer to become impure and isolated or “quarantined” from the community. The affliction would generally come as a result of a person speaking Lashon Hara (evil gossip). 

Rashi, Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki, explains that Tzara'at was not so much as a punishment but rather a consequence of the person's negative speech. The sin of gossip which causes rifts between people is rectified by providing a secluded space where the person separates from others and is given the opportunity to reflect, repent, and make amends.

Although the supernatural occurrence of Tzara'at no longer exists in the current era, we can take to heart the important lesson of always using our power of speech for positive purposes. 

The Torah enumerates different forms of forbidden speech. In the words of Maimonides, Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon: “Who is a gossiper? One who collects information and [then] goes from person to person, saying: 'This is what so and so said;' 'This is what I heard about so and so.' Even if the statements are true, they bring about the destruction of the world. There is a much more serious sin than [gossip], which is also included in this prohibition: Lashon Horah (negative gossip), i.e., relating deprecating facts about a colleague, even if they are true…”

The Chafetz Chayim, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, famously taught that the prohibition against Lashon Hara includes saying negative things even about one's self. Since every person is created in the image of G-d, we have no justification to denigrate anyone, even ourselves.

Exerting self-control over our speech is admirable. Even greater is the ability to truly respect and love every person, automatically eradicating the negative and losing the desire to share bad information about them.

The Talmud teaches, “The measure of good is always greater than the measure of punishment”. The destructive power of negative speech is surpassed only by the beneficial power of positive speech. Praising and speaking positively about our fellow, benefits ourselves, the person being praised and all of society.

Scientific and medical research has discovered that a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.

The Rebbe, Rabbi M.M. Schneerson, persistently chose to view and express every teaching, story, idea and lesson found in Judaism, and in society in general, in the most uplifting and positive way possible, while encouraging others to do the same.

For example, he objected strongly to the Israeli phrase for hospital, Beit Cholim, which means house of the sick. “Why was the hospital not called Beit Refuah—house of healing?” he asked In a letter to Professor Mordechai Shani, director of the Sheba Medical Center in Israel. The Rebbe wrote further, “Even though...this would seem to represent only a semantic change, the term Beit Refuah brings encouragement to the sick; it represents more accurately the goal of the institution...which is to bring about a complete healing. Therefore, why call it by a word that does not suit its intentions?” By changing the way we refer to hospitals, the Rebbe felt that we would strengthen and sanctify health rather than prioritizing illness.

The Rebbe's predisposition of positivity was especially present in relation to people who were perceived to be lacking in some way. He would address individuals in challenging situations in a way that, rather than reinforcing their perceived limitations, illuminated their inherent positive potential.

In the summer of 1976, the IDF sponsored a tour of the United States for a large group of disabled IDF veterans (Nechei Tzahal). During the trip, they had the opportunity to visit the Rebbe at Chabad Headquarters in 770 and receive his blessing.

The Rebbe spoke lovingly to them and expressed gratitude for their dedication and sacrifice on behalf of the Jewish people. Afterwards, the Rebbe addressed their  “disability” by saying that he objected to the use of the term: 

“If a person has been deprived of a limb or a faculty, this itself indicates that G‑d has given him special powers to overcome the limitations this entails, and to surpass the achievements of ordinary people. You are not 'disabled' or 'handicapped', but special and unique, as you possess potentials that the rest of us do not. I therefore suggest, that you should no longer be called 'Nechei Yisrael' (the disabled of Israel), but 'Metzuyanei Yisrael' (the special of Israel)." 

Let us perform an additional Mitzvah and pray for the merit and safety of all our brave soldiers and the safe return of our hostages. Together we will usher in a time of peace and prosperity for all nations on earth with the coming of Moshiach!